Are we there yet?
Begrudgingly, i must accept
good things take time.
To create a strong foundation, i must be present and aligned.
but how can i, when my mind is stuck on the future?
i wrangle my mind every day to stay on track.
that middle space between what i was and what i will be.
the birthing period is painful, just ask your mum.
The habits havent quite cemented
but the dream is overwhelming.
It’s like every week I’m back at square one.
But I know that not to be true, when I look back.
i just spend so much time looking forward,
i forget where I am now.
No wonder i jump when the toaster pops.
Really, it comes down to wanting to escape where i am.
So many hours daydreaming of working on a brand new laptop,
overlooking the luscious green of jungle fauna
surrounded by likeminded creators.
But i just know I won’t get there until i accept where i am
not settle, just accept.
The belief that I’ll get there is unshakable.
But the present, the actual space i inhabit now is neglected
how can i produce the real, raw art necessary for my growth
when im so busy thinking about being grown?
hey babe.
As always, I appreciate your company as I learn to share without fear. Your presence is felt, and loved.
Have you done something to feed your soul today?
It’s been a rough couple weeks over here. I’ve been slowly getting a grasp on managing my whole grown ass self. I can’t believe I turned 20. Wow. I remember being small and looking at 20 as a lifetime away. In a way, I was right. I am not the person I used to be, 100 times over. Still, I carry every version of myself with loving arms. I’m grateful for my journey and I can’t wait to see what my 20s has in store.
I’m tryna think more long-term, so I am beginning to make plans and goals that stretch longer than 6 months. This year of my life if dedicated to settling into my home in myself. I yearn for stability and clarity.
Anyway, stay weird, gorgeous. I’ll see you in the next one.
❧ Babz
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